Anyway,yesterday was pretty busy for me. I worked on that damned headboard and footboard again. I think I'm giving up. I've tried spray strippers. I've tried hand sanding. I've tried machine sanding and now I'm just tired of it all. Every time I try something "crafty" it never works out. I should have learned by now that if it doesn't have to do with numbers or computer that I should leave it the hell alone!

I cleaned on the house a bit and worked on my cross-stitch a bit

I spent some time in deep discussion with Matthew over a little issue with him sneaking around behind my back. I don't know what it's going to take to get through to him. He doesn't understand that lying only gets him into more trouble than he's already in. He doesn't understand that he has to respect my rules for the house. He doesn't understand that there are reasons (even when I explain them to him) for the decisions that I make. Where have all the common sense and family values gone?? Most kids today just don't get it. I supposed it's my fault for having given him everything that he has. I was only trying to give him what I never had......a mom that showed her love, a mom that worked hard, a mom that was understanding, a mom that wanted him to have everything that he needed (not necessarily wanted) and a mom that was willing to do almost anything to help him succeed. I still blame Kevin for most of this. When Matthew went to live with him, he was respectful, honest, enjoyed school, had friends and respected people. When I got him back, he had become a different child all together. Sometimes I look at Matthew and wonder who he is and what he's done with my son. Shallow? Maybe. Honest? Definitely. I just don't know how to get through to him.

I had such a frustrating day that Ted came over to console me. He brought dinner, rented a movie and we spent the evening lounging on the couch. We chatted for a long time after the movie was over about a lot of things that I've really been getting bent over lately. He really does help me vent because he understands and he tries to give me helpful insights to improve the situations and my outlook. He ended up staying the night. It was wonderful just to snuggle all night long. It gives me a feeling of safety, security and relaxation. It's almost as if nothing else exists because I'm relaxed and getting all the hugs that I need.

We woke up late this morning because we had stayed up so talking for so long that he was late getting to the shop. I had a million things to do today and didn't accomplish one of them. I sat on the couch watching movies all day. USA was playing an Adam Sandler Marathon and SciFi was playing a WishMaster Marathon. I spent the majority of the day working on my cross-stitch and switching the channels between the two Marathons.