I can't get people to stop calling early in the morning! What, do they actually think that everyone in the world is up at 6am? Well, not me. I am one tired bitch.

Mom came by today to make my truck payment and take Matthew to his doc appointment. All went well, I supposed. The doc called me because I needed to talk to him about Matthew's meds while he's in Illinois with his dad. We worked out an arrangement so that he would write me three prescriptions and I would get them filled intermittently while Matthew was away and send them to him.

I waited all morning for the disability company to call me. They told me that they would call no later than Wednesday to have the vocational person have a chat with me so that they could proceed with my claim. So far, the long-term part of my disability has been a total pain in the ass. Now, it looks as though I won't get a check from them until sometime mid-July. Do these people think that I have unlimited funds? They know I've been out of work for 6 months. Do they think I had a secret stash of cash somewhere and can just exist indefinitely without money? I know that they probably ought to get their heads out of their asses soon because I'm really close to just calling a lawyer.

I took my drive this evening. I dropped off my movies, went to a thrift store, drove around a bit, stopped of at Mom's house and then went to another thrift store before returning home. I think I did really well. I just need to start being able to make these trips during the daytime. It seems as though I can accomplish a lot under the cover of darkness but my abilities fade when the sun shining. I'm just not going to push myself anymore. I'm tired of dealing with all of this. 6 months at home with panic attacks is 6 months longer than I planned on even having the attacks. I thought I'd be back to work by January and things would be great this year. Too bad there isn't a way that science can find a way to bypass the subconscious of people with anxiety and panic problems so that they can function normally. I guess it would sort of be like a lobotomy but even that is preferrable to what I'm dealing with now.