Progress, progress, progress. I guess that's what it's all about. Progress can be viewed in many ways when it comes to dealing with my panic attacks. I see some small bit of progress and Dick sees a great leap. It's comforting and empowering at the same time. I don't see how much progress I'm really making until I finish up with my Tuesday appointments. Example: I see that my trips out haven't expanded my boundaries that much and Dick sees that I'm getting out more than I was when I first started seeing him. I don't see that my trips are beneficial and Dick has to remind me that I get stronger each time I go out. Dick has to point these things out to me. I think it's because I've spent such a long time now at home and away from work that I'm not my normally secure, assured motivated self. I used to be so sure of myself. Sadly, I was my biggest fan. I think in some ways I still am but not as much as I used to be. I thank God every day that I finally got assigned individual counseling and that Dick was the one I was assigned to. It's been very helpful to have someone helping me that has gone through this before.
My new dilemma is dealing with Scotty and the truck. I told Dick that Mom told me I needed to make Scotty walk or ride his bike to work so that the truck was home with me in case I was moved to get in it and go somewhere. Dick agreed with her. This will be something that will be hard for me to bring up with Scotty. He's so used to having the truck for work all of the time and he hates walking. I don't want to inconvenience him or make him feel like he's being punished for something but I really think that Dick & Mom are right. Boy! I never thought I would say that Mom was right about anything after all that we've fought about the last six months. Anyway, praying for some guidance here.
Time to sleep. I have an appointment with Dr. Perry tomorrow and I need to be rested and clear-headed.
You are: ATHENAIS (c400-460) also known as Eudocia. The beautiful daugher of a brilliant Greek philosopher, she exemplified the Classical ideals. She spent her days writing poetry (which is read to this day) and trying to avoid the machinations of her stepmother Pulcheria.
