Well, today really sucks. I am having a good day as far as the panic attacks go but the rest of it sucks. I ran a search on the computer this morning for a file that I lost. I searched by "buy" to see if I could find it. Well, I didn't find my file but I opened a file that I thought was it. It wasn't. It was a diary entry from Scotty. He was saying how much he hates it here and that now he has to start helping out with expenses for living with me because Sharon said that I was mad about him not helping out. I am mad but not about the money. I just wanted him to show a little consideration for staying in the house by helping keep it clean and understanding that I don't have any extra money for gas & stuff. That's what I meant by "helping out". I have never thought about asking him to help with expenses because I know that he is trying to save money for a place for him and Colleen. I just wish that people would be as open an honest in person as they are in their heads & diaries. I'm going to have a talk with him when he gets up so that he understands.
I am never going to get rid of these stupid panic attacks! The doctor said that I need to get rid of the stress in my life. Well, as much as possible. HA HA HA. What a laugh! I get stress from my 14 year old's attitude. I get stress from my mother constantly lecturing me about my medicine and getting back to work and Scotty and Matthew and pretty much anything else she can come up with. I have stress because I sit in this F(*^*&ing house all day! I have stress because I want to go back to work! I can't pay my bills with the disability that I'm getting and it's all starting to get REALLY old!
You are: ATHENAIS (c400-460) also known as Eudocia. The beautiful daugher of a brilliant Greek philosopher, she exemplified the Classical ideals. She spent her days writing poetry (which is read to this day) and trying to avoid the machinations of her stepmother Pulcheria.
